thoughts on life

a few weeks ago dave and i went on date. i had found a fun list of questions to talk about over dinner (to spice up our conversation) and one of the questions was, "how would you like people to describe you at your funeral?" it really made me stop and think, because in my opinion the heart of that question is "what/who do you want to have become by the end of your life?"

fast forward to last friday. i attended the funeral of an amazing woman from the ward i grew up in (and still lovingly refer to as my "home ward." it still feels like home there). despite the sadness of the occasion, her funeral was an inspiring event. i don't think a single person left it without wanting to be better. as i listened to how her family and friends described her, it was clear the kind of person she had become and what was important to her, her family and the gospel of jesus christ. she had spent her life loving and serving those around her. one of her daughters described her as a "people builder" and i thought that was a beautiful tribute. i can honestly say that i never left her presence without feeling important, special and loved. it was a gift of hers to make everyone feel that way. shortly before she passed away her family was gathered around her and she asked them to be true to their covenants, because as she said, it's all we have. one of her daughters shared with me that while she and her mom were talking, her mom had told her that she while wasn't perfect, she had lived her covenants. what a wonderful thing to be able to say at the end of your life (or really any time during your life)!

and once again i thought about who and what i want to have become by the end of my life and it could be summed up in one thing: i want to be someone who has kept their covenants. because if i have been striving each day to keep my covenants, i will have become who i want to be: someone who loves the Lord and has tried to follow him and keep his commandments; someone who loves her family and has lived so it can be eternal :) ; someone who served and cared for others during good times and hard times and was "willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;" someone who stood "as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" that i was in; someone who learned to submit my will to God's, trusting he knows what is best for me; someone the Lord could use to build his kingdom and further his work; someone who had become an instrument in the Lord's hands; someone who learned to recognize and follow the voice of the spirit; someone who loved truth; someone who loved life and lived it fully and found joy and happiness (and laughed a lot); someone who was true. i have got a long way to go to become that person, but my covenants have become a little more real and hopefully will influence me a little more each day.