a letter to my FIVE year old!

dear logan, 

a couple of weeks ago you turned 5! i can hardly believe it. it really seems like you were just born. the night before your birthday, your dad and i reminisced about 5 years earlier getting ready to go to the hospital to have a baby boy! we were so excited and knew our lives would totally change and we couldn't wait. on your birthday we looked at pictures from your birth and it hurt my heart a little because the time has gone so quickly. your birthday is especially significant because it made us parents and becoming a mother was a dream come true for me. i am so grateful for the fantastic little guy you have become. you are sweet, kind, thoughtful, silly, active, crazy busy, and loud. sure, you sometimes leave me totally exasperated with your attitude and as you test your boundaries, but i am grateful to be raising such a strong and independent little boy. i am especially grateful for how forgiving you are as we figure out this parenting thing and make plenty of mistakes along the way. just a couple of days ago after a hard day, i laid next to you that night and apologized for yelling and not being a very nice mommy. i promised the next day would be better and asked if you forgave me and you instantly said yes. i am so grateful for your forgiving heart. you are an example to me. you continue to have an incredible memory and i am amazed at how quickly you learn and how much you remember. you have learned to spell our last name and have memorized my phone number (as i discovered the other day) just from hearing me tell it to people on the phone! you are great at directions and remember things that we did a long time ago. we have to be careful what we promise you because we know you won't forget! i love to hear you tell me about the scriptures stories and things you are learning in primary. you are so proud to be a CTR 4! you have always loved the water, but this summer we discovered what a gift you have for swimming. you have really excelled at your lessons and you love it so much. you go through phases of what you are really into and right now it is star wars and legos. star wars legos is what you chose as your birthday party theme and you were thrilled with all the new lego sets you got. one day i wasn't able to help you put together a lego set right when you wanted me to and so you proceeded to follow the instructions and do it all by yourself! i couldn't believe it and you were so proud of yourself. we have loved watching your imagination blossom, as you have begun to make your own lego creations. you are also very imaginative with the games you and emma make up and play (families, droids, star wars, transformers). just this past week you discovered the show ninjago, and it has become a fast favorite. you love watching shows and would watch tv all day if i let you. luckily you also love to be active jumping on the trampoline, riding your strider bike and playing baseball (you are amazing at hitting the ball). you have become more snuggly as you have gotten older and one of my favorite moments of the day is when you wake up from your nap and come and snuggle with me for a few moments. you're still nice and warm from your nap and you just let me hold you. i also love how you instantly snuggle into me whenever we read a book. the other moment i love is as we sit and eat breakfast and you tell me all about your dreams from the night before. i'm not sure if they're real or you're just an amazing story teller, but they're very imaginative, detailed and entertaining. you loved school this past year, just as we expected, and learned so much. you are a friendly kid and are great at making friends wherever we go. i hope you keep that quality throughout your life. over the summer you begun to enjoy coloring more and i love to see the pictures you color and bring home from kids club at the gym. you still love your lovey and would take it with you everywhere you went if we let you. you still put the corner up under your nose, just like you did as a baby and the corners are all dirty and worn out now. we are trying to wean you off of it (except when you're sleeping), but you still sneak it anytime you can. squeaky (mouse) and bear bear are the (stuffed) friends you are most loyal to. you love peanut butter and jelly and have it almost everyday for lunch. you also love goldfish crackers and stars breakfast (lucky charms). you have a sweet tooth like your mom and love chips like your dad! you've become less picky and will at least try most things i make now, which is great! one of the things i love to see the most is what an amazing brother you are. emma and connor adore you and want to be wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing. and almost always, you happily and kindly play with them. you and emma are the best of friends, and i can already see a special friendship developing between you and connor. it is the thing that brings me the most joy, to see the love and friendship that has developed between you and your siblings. as the oldest, you are setting a wonderful example. i am so grateful to be your mother. it is everything i hoped it would be and more (both good and hard). i can't wait to watch as you continue to grow. although please slow down a little, it's going too fast!

i love you to the moon and back!

love, mom

cheerleading reunion

yesterday i drove past my old high school at lunch time. the kids were outside, heading to different places to eat and i thought to myself, "man they are little! they can't really be in high school!" it's the same thought i often have as i see teenagers driving by me on the road. i think, "hey 12 year old boy, does your mom know you took her car?!" but then the hard truth hits me, i'm just getting older and yes, i'm sure i looked that young when i was their age too. in fact, i am double the age of some of these kids (no wonder they look young) and i have officially been out of high school for 13 years. yikes! talk about feeling old!

a couple of weeks ago we had an unofficial cheerleading reunion. it was so fun to see these girls (some of which i haven't seen in 13 years and the others it's been almost 2 years). it was fun to see where life has taken us over the years (jobs we've had/have and places we've been), talk about motherhood and watch our kids play together! 

i dug into my scrapbooks and found a few pictures from back in the day! wow, that was a long time ago (above: freshman year and below: senior year)

as a side note: i can't believe how many cheers i can still remember. it's definitely not because i've been practicing, i just think they are forever embedded in my memory. and really, these days i could use that space in my brain to remember something a little more important. 

10 years ago today...

10 years ago today i entered the missionary training center and began my 18 month mission for the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. i can't believe it has been 10 years! seriously, i am starting to feel old ;) i can honestly say serving a mission is one of the best decisions i have ever made. before i went on my mission i was promised in a blessing that my mission would be a blessing in my life and a source of strength and joy that would bring dividends. 

(with suzi just before going into the mtc. and my camera date was wrong because it was the 5th!)

i've been thinking about those promises a lot today. the things i learned weren't necessarily new to me, but i began to understand them in a more real and personal way. it was on my mission that i really learned to recognize the promptings of the spirit and i saw how the lord can lead us. i learned with unshakable assurance that god knows us as individuals and hears and answers our prayers.  

i caught a glimpse of the love that god has for his children as i served those around me. i felt god's love for me in a real and unmistakable way. i learned that watching others exercise their agency can sometimes be frustrating and heartbreaking (oh the tears i cried on my mission). 

(the other 3 sister missionaries in my district)

and i was reminded that you can't give someone a testimony. you can't convince them to believe. you can only testify (and oh how amazing it was to bear testimony all day, everyday) of the truth, and then they must choose to find out for themselves and act on that knowledge.  

(the classic mtc picture with my district)

i was reminded of the joy that comes from the gospel and from being obedient to god's commandments (and that there is no other way to find true joy). i learned that jesus christ is my savior and that his atonement not only allows me to become clean again, but enables me to do and be more than i ever could on my own. 

(one of the greatest cities. seriously, go there!)

 i learned the joy that comes from service and building the kingdom of god. and that it is hard work and tiring :) man being a missionary was hard, hard, hard!

(president and sister taylor. they are the best and i love them!)

i learned that few things in life can compare to the feeling you have when someone learns the truth for themselves and accepts the gospel of jesus christ. it is the most amazing feeling! talk about joy!

(melanie donahoo, my trainer)

i was also promised in my setting apart that i would serve with eternal friends and that couldn't be more true. i created amazing bonds because of our experiences and service together.

(liz thomas. i have no idea where we were)

(sally lambert and kimber donohue)

(cheryl o'brien)

(andrea lewis, my last companion)

and it is no doubt the things i have learned have blessed me with strength and joy in life and have brought me dividends, because i have had to draw on them constantly over the past 8 and a half years since i got home. i especially find application right now in my calling and as i navigate this great adventure of motherhood and creating my family. who knew the lessons from a mission would help so much in motherhood?! yea for the ctem!

and i just have to say, these pictures are not cute! i actually can't believe that i am posting them on here, but i'm doing it for the sake of preserving memories. at least i know that people listened to me because of my message and definitely not because i was nice to look at! :)

5 years ago

5 years ago (on may 23, 2007...it was a wednesday just like this year) dave asked me to marry him. i'm so glad he asked and i'm so glad i said yes! i remember my co-workers were shocked at how short our engagement was (2 and a half months) and one of them even asked who was going to plan my wedding so quickly! haha!

on wednesday in honor of the day and how he asked me (using our favorite game), we played the game, dirty marbles. it came down to both of us needing to roll a 1 to win and i was the lucky one! woohoo!

it's been a good (and fast) 5 years. 

a week worth of halloween celebrations

we had such a great halloween. it really is true that kids make everything so much more fun! logan loved trick or treating and let's be honest, why wouldn't he?! free candy (after all, he is my son!)! we celebrated over the period of about a week and rather than doing multiple posts i'm just doing one long one. prepare yourself for lots of pictures of a cute fireman and darling ducky!

the week before halloween we went to the trunk or treat at my parent's ward. i always love visiting their ward, it still feels like home to me. this was logan's first experience with trick or treating. whenever he would say trick or treat he would hold up his arm (like the picture on the left). it was pouring rain so rather than going car to car, people lined the halls of the church with their candy. it got pretty packed (like claustrophobic) at times but it was worth it for candy (can you tell how much i love candy?!)!

is that not the cutest duck ever?! 

thanks to kari and sterling for lending us their japanese kimonos!

logan got his face painted (obviously...not a necessary caption)

they had a harry potter room that was really cool. logan sat on a stool and was sorted into a house (yea gryffindor) and this was him getting his wand from mr. ollivander!

the saturday before halloween the weather was beautiful and i thought it would be the perfect day to visit the zoo. it wasn't until we were pulling up to the zoo and saw all the kids dressed up and nowhere  to park that i remembered it was "boo at the zoo." after driving around for 15 minutes looking for parking (and getting mighty frustrated) and parking a 15 minute walk from the zoo, we finally made it. we looked like the total slacker parents because our kids weren't dressed in their costumes (i seriously think i only saw one other kid without a costume and there were a lot of kids there). luckily logan was oblivious and just thought it was fun to see the animals and more importantly, fun to get candy!

the day before halloween we went trick or treating to gammy and pappy's house. halloween is kathy's favorite holiday and she goes all out decorating and spoiling the kids. i think the picture below on the left perfectly captures her love of this holiday (and her grandkids)

finally the actual night arrived. we went trick or treating around our neighborhood with our friends the gordons and it was so fun! logan thought it was great and would push his way to the front at every house (not so great). he said "trick or treat" and "happy halloween" and we couldn't get over how cute he was. we visited one house that goes all out decorating. i'm personally not a fan of inflatable lawn decor, but this house was so festive we had to get a picture. plus they must have had between 12-15 intricately decorated jack-o-lanterns. they were incredible (and sadly by the next day all the decorations were down and the pumpkins were in their trash cans).

logan with the 2 cutest ladybugs

we came home and logan had to check out his loot. i think this picture is funny because he is lining up his candy that is the same size and shape. and dave and i had fun passing out candy to the late trick or treaters (i think it is one of dave's favorite things about halloween). it was the perfect end to a great week of celebrating. we also celebrated by attending our nephew josh's halloween birthday party but sadly didn't take any pictures :(

let's just say i have eaten more than my fair share of candy. i could relate to what one of my friends posted on facebook, that for every one piece of candy her son eats, she eats five. that sounds about right to me. one of the first things that logan asks for when he wakes up is a piece of candy and then he begs for it for the rest of the day. aahhh! it does work well for bribery though (like bribing him with candy if he would be reverent during family scripture study tonight)! happy halloween!

garden of the gods: now and then

over labor day weekend we headed south with our friends the smiths to "hike" around garden of the gods. as we were driving down, dave and i realized that neither of us knew why it is called "garden of the gods" and so i decided to find out. here's the story: in 1859 when two surveyors happened upon the beautiful sandstone formations, one of them suggested that it would be a "capital place for a beer garden" when the country grew up. the other one exclaimed, "beer garden! why it is a fit place for the gods to assemble. we will call it the garden of the gods." it has been so called ever since. it is incredibly beautiful and it was the perfect day to wander around.

 

 logan loved climbing on the rocks

 seriously beautiful!

some people were even rock climbing (if you look close at this picture you'll see the climber)

 hey there hot stuff!

i think this picture of the dads with their kiddos is so cute! since morgan and logan are destined for each other we always joke that pictures like this will go on their wedding video!

as we were driving, dave and i reminisced about our "non-date" to garden of the gods 5 years earlier, almost to the day (september 2, 2006/september 3, 2011). we lovingly refer to it as the "non-date" because i thought it was a date and dave thought we were just friends hanging out (in his defense i had told him at least 3 times over the period of about a year that i was only interested in being friends). the fact that it wasn't a date in his mind became very clear when we stopped to get lunch at the castle rock outlet food court on the way home. i couldn't decide between an italian and chinese place and since i was being slow and dave knew what he wanted, he got his food and said he would go get us a table. i became panicked because i didn't have my wallet with me (and obviously he wasn't planning on paying for me like i thought). i tried to act nonchalant as i asked for his keys and then ran to the car to get my wallet and ran back (the car was not parked close so this took a little time). the funny thing is, i don't think dave even wondered why i ran back to the car! it's a funny and awkward memory to look back on! it was on that drive 5 years ago that dave also introduced me to a great band, quietdrive. in memory of that day, we listened to quietdrive on our drive. we contemplated stopping at the food court for lunch but decided to pass (5 guys was much more inviting than the food court and in case you were wondering, dave paid for me ;).   

september 2, 2006

while the picture on the left is an embarrassing one (although totally typical of me), i had to include it because 5 years later my little family and i had our picture taken in the exact same spot (and it wasn't planned)! the past 5 years have been good to us!